Crack Wet Dreams
by YahooSounding
Summary: After Stewie's invention goes wrong, Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, Quagmire, Cleveland and Bonnie start to witness events in which they go out with a different person! How will each of them feel? Crack Pairings, LEMONS! Prologue up!


Here's the first chapter to hopefully a good lemon fic starring the best sort of couples, the crack couples! Please, enjoy!

* * *

Inside the Griffin residence, upstairs in Stewie's bedroom, the young baby was carefully working in his side laboratory as he put in one little drop inside a small beaker. Once the small drink changed from a green to a purple, Stewie smiled as he examined his newly made potion.

"Well well, Stewie old boy, I don't know how you do it… but somehow… you do it!" Stewie chuckled to himself as he shook up the bottle plenty of times. "Once this concoction goes into the mouth of the fat man's wife, she won't be interfering with the ways of my work!"

Stewie sighed. "Man, it's been quite a while, but I think I may have finally DONE something right for once… but to make sure it's preserved fairly, I better refrigerate it for exactly TWO hours. Any sooner, and the chemical might explode, affecting everyone inside the home…"

Stewie frowned. "It may not make sense, but that's the way it needs to be!"

* * *

Stewie was soon downstairs as he managed to open the kitchen refrigerator and put the concoction inside before closing it. Stewie sighed as he walked out. "Now that that's done… I think I need a small breather… I should probably get Rupert and see if he wants to play outside… oh, won't that be a delight…"

* * *

About an hour later, inside the living room, the Griffin family sans Stewie was watching the TV.

"And now, back to 'Frozen 2: Elsa's Snow Cherry'." The announcer said.

On the TV, Elsa was laying down on the ground, spreading her legs open as she gave a chuckle. "Go on Olaf… you know you want this… the cold never bothered me anyway… so what are you waiting for?"

"Man, what is WITH these lame Disney sequels?" Peter frowned as he sighed.

"Brian, can you go check on Stewie for me? Maybe play with him for an hour or so?" Lois asked as Brian looked up.

Brian sighed as he got up. "All right. I'll go check on him."

Brian opened the door as he went out. Peter looked around as he sighed in relief. "Okay, come on, let's get to the kitchen quick!"

Lois, Chris and Meg nodded as they followed Peter into the kitchen. Peter peeked out from the window to see Brian going over to Stewie as Peter winked to Lois. Lois nodded as she opened the back door, motioning for a couple people to come in.

Bonnie, Quagmire and Cleveland smiled as they walked inside, Bonnie holding a couple presents, Cleveland chuckling as he said, "Man, I can't believe it's already Brian's birthday…"

"You said it, Cleveland!" Peter chuckled. "This'll be the best birthday for Brian ever!"

"I'm surprised you decided to come to Brian's party, considering your true feelings for him." Lois said, turning to Quagmire.

"Well, I still don't care for Brian. I only came for the cake." Quagmire sighed. "Say, Bonnie, where is Joe?"

"Joe's still at his job, BUT he said he'd return in time for the present opening." Bonnie explained as she sat down. "Fortunately, the baby's over at the babysitter's, so everything is all set and good."

"Eh, I don't know, Bonnie." Peter frowned. "I took one good look at your babysitter, and I don't know, she doesn't look good around kids…"

* * *

In another area, Mother Gothel was brushing Joe and Bonnie's kid as she was humming an old song. "Yes, yes, mother does know best…"

* * *

"Oh well. Just my opinion anyway." Peter shrugged as he opened the fridge. "Hey, Quagmire, Cleveland, let me see if I can dig around for a couple of beers…"

As Peter reached his hand inside, he accidentally knocked something down… and that something was…

* * *

Outside, Brian was talking with Stewie as Stewie looked up to him. "So, Brian, you think that the world can eventually become… I don't know, a cube?"

"It could very well be possible." Brian shrugged. "But again, you're the science-y one."

All of a sudden, Brian and Stewie heard an explosion from within the house as Brian turned. "What the hell?"

Stewie's eyes widened as he said, "Tell me NOBODY didn't…"

"Who did what? What the hell's going on, Stewie?" Brian said as Stewie started to run inside the house.

* * *

Inside the kitchen, everybody appeared to be in quite a daze as they groaned and their eyes widened. Stewie quickly ran inside as he sighed. "I was afraid of this…"

Brian quickly followed Stewie as he frowned. "Okay, Stewie, what did you do this time?"

"Well… I currently was making a new invention, one that is sure to destroy Lois." Stewie explained.

"Oh… oh yeah, I forget you're still on the… kill Lois thing, you know, I never quite got that." Brian frowned.

"Back to the subject in hand…" Stewie said. "I was going to have it refrigerate for two hours for it to be the perfect killing machine… but it's not two hours, so it hasn't been completed!"

Stewie then noticed the spilled beaker as he frowned, examining it. "Fat man shoulder print. He must have been trying to get one of his drinks and he spilled it…"

"Well… well, why is everybody out cold?" Brian asked as he looked around the others.

"Don't worry, it's just a temporary thing. Only lasts for a good hour and a half." Stewie explained. "During that time, the fat man, along with Lois, Chris, Meg, Bonnie, Quagmire and Cleveland will experience… a dream-like sequence in which… for some of them, they'll be… in a words, cheating… but for others… a chance to achieve their own dream."

Brian frowned as he stared at Stewie. "So, what you're telling me is that, for instance, if Peter was in a dream, he would not go out with Lois, but…?"

"But it could be somebody else entirely, one that he's not ENTIRELY comfortable with… same goes for the ones that are currently married. Chris, Meg, Quagmire… eh, I'm sure they'll have the sweetest dreams." Stewie explained.

"Seems like a contrived plot with others mixed in together." Brian explained.

"I know, but it works." Stewie frowned as he turned to the camera. "It's just something you'll have to accept and work with…"

"I wonder what everybody is dreaming about…" Brian said, examining the knocked out people in the kitchen.

"No idea… but we do have some time before they wake up… you want to… well, go to the park?" Stewie asked.

"All right, guess whatever works, works." Brian said as he and Stewie went out of the kitchen to get ready.

Little did each of them know that within each person's dream, they started to shake a bit…

* * *

And that is the end of this chapter! How do you like it! Coming up, the first crack pairing... Peter Griffin x Angela! Anyway, review!


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